Gratitude & Mental Health — Mental Health Today

Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. — Harvard Medical School

Gratitude. I don’t imagine it’s a word that will quickly come to mind when we reflect on 2020. We’ve seen pain and loss on a scale that you’d expect to read about in a history textbook. I even took a step back recently and considered whether it might be better to retreat into an ‘ignorance is bliss’ mindset. To help shift my perspective, a therapist suggested I keep a gratitude journal. And it’s this practice that I want to pitch to you. ⤵

Here are the notes I jotted down (via the therapist) to remind myself how and why I’m keeping a gratitude journal:

1. Find a notebook that you enjoy looking at and writing in.
2. Every night, preferably just before bed, write Gratitude and the date on top of a new page.
3. Write 1-3 down the left side and leave lines for free-writing.
4. Next to each number write a word describing (or titling) each gratitude.
5. Write a reflection on each gratitude.
Note 1: Don’t be concerned if you miss a day or can’t think of three gratitudes. It’s better to avoid repeating the same gratitude—repetition can blunt the activity’s effectiveness.
Note 2: Keep the journal on a bedside table so that you are reminded to write. Studies show that completing the activity at night can assist with quality of sleep and dreams.

What stands out the most from keeping a gratitude journal is just how countercultural it is to acknowledge gratitude and write about small joys.

Before we dive into the importance of acknowledging and spotting small joys, please consider these questions:

How many times have you found something irritating today? Did someone cut you off on the way to work? Was the coffee burnt? Did someone not reply to your email? Did your partner forget to do the dishes? Again?
And how many times today did you find something to be grateful for?

I had assumed it was just folks like me - people prone to pessimism - who fail to ask and contemplate gratitudes. But it turns out that most of us fall into this critical thinking and negative patterns.

It’s easy to convince ourselves that negativity is fashionable or culturally appropriate. We’re fed images of war and conflict; advertising often teaches us that we can never be good enough. These narratives don’t need to define our self-image. In fact, they often have little to do with who we are and how we experience the world on a day-to-day basis. The choice belongs to us. Making gratitude lists can bring us back to a place of natural reflection, where we focus on what’s good rather than what’s bad. — Charlie Ambler, Headspace

Before starting the journal I would’ve responded to Ambler’s point with a line about the importance of societal and global issues, and how his mindset sounds like one that is afforded with privilege. One problem with such a response is that it ignores the positives that can be found during dark days.

So, here’s my working definition of a small joy: an everyday activity/experience/encounter that has a positive impression or impact.

Since I don’t naturally think this way (in part due to depression and anxiety issues), I often find it difficult to acknowledge positive experiences and moments on a daily basis without an activity like a gratitude journal.

Another benefit to keeping a gratitude journal is noticing what we otherwise take for granted. One leading researcher, psychologist Robert Emmons, stresses to take your time with the journal so that you can “be aware of your feelings and how you “relish” and “savor” this gift in your imagination. Take the time to be especially aware of the depth of your gratitude.” In applying these measures, Emmons argues - and it is my experience - that we begin the process of mentally taking note of small joys in our lives. I’ve found that it also becomes easier to spot small joys.

I would simply like to reclaim an old and, alas, quite unfashionable private formula: Moderate enjoyment is double enjoyment. And: Do not overlook the little joys! — Hermann Hesse

A few tips & points:

You don’t have to journal daily

There is research that has found that “counting blessings once a week boosted happiness, but doing so three times a week didn’t. ‘That suggests that for most people, at least on average, three times a week was too much.’”

From my experience, a few weeks ago I journaled on Saturday and Sunday and found it more helpful and rejuvenating than the previous week when I journaled daily. Find what works for you and feel free to try different schedules.

The act of writing helps organise thoughts

I advise taking the time to sit and write rather than type on a phone, app or computer. And, yes, there’s research to back up the benefits in writing ⤵️

Emmons points to research showing that translating thoughts into concrete language—whether oral or written—has advantages over just thinking the thoughts: It makes us more aware of them, deepening their emotional impact.
Writing helps to organize thoughts, facilitate integration, and helps you accept your own experiences and put them in context. In essence, it allows you to see the meaning of events going on around you and create meaning in your own life.

Let me also add that I’m not in favour of paying for an app or program to do what has always been a free activity.

Don’t be concerned about grammar and spelling

This activity is not about writing publishable material. It’s about creating healthy habits and acknowledging joy. So, let go and free-write!

There’s no right way

While I agree with Emmons and those who argue that this activity works best and has the most impact if it’s more than a listicle, there’s no law with this practice. It’s better to find what is feasible and works in your life than try and fit a rigid activity.

For those dealing with depression and anxiety

I can think of periods in my life when dealing with anxiety and depression would’ve made keeping a gratitude journal arduous. Please take stock of where you are at, discuss with your support networks the activity, even consider asking health professionals what they think.